Dear Nom, My Little Angel

The past 24 hours have been very difficult for me. I had been on vacation for around 2 weeks, and came home to find that my hamster, Nom Nom, had passed away in her sleep. There were still some food left, and she had drank around half of the amount of the 3 bottles of water I left her. Her body was stiff and she was just laid down in the spot she usually sleeps. From the conditions I could tell that it was the very exact same day that she had passed. I wished I had come home earlier, and I keep wandering if she was waiting for me to come home. Every time that thought passes my mind, tears will pour out. If you've never had a pet it probably doesn't mean much to you. But it's like a hole has been dug out from your life, your soul and your heart. There was a very obvious missing piece, you want to come home and say "how was your day?" and the silence in the room is so strong it's a constant reminder that something dear is missing. 

Dear Nom,

Thank you for being a part of my life for nearly 2 years. I still remember the day we met, you were sleeping peacefully, curled up in a little ball like you always do. You opened your sleepy eyes and gazed up at me as I picked you up and welcomed you to your new home. You have been a very special part of my life every since, always greeting me cheerfully as I come home to you. You had the most beautiful coat of fur, and not to mention your cute white fluffy belly. I miss feeling your warmth in my hands while you cuddle into my palm. I miss your curious little paws, roaming the floors and exploring what's around you. 

I'm sad because I no longer have you to always to be able to enjoy dinner with. And I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you. I hope I didn't keep you waiting, and I hope your last dream was a sweet one. Please visit me in my dreams once in a while, and let me know that you are doing well in hamster heaven. I miss you dearly, and will always think of you when I look up at the night sky and spot a twinkling star. You were very very special, and brought lots of joy to my life. I hope I was able to help you live a comfortable life as well. We shall meet again someday, somewhere. 

A Dwarf Hamster's average life span is 1 - 2 years. Knowing that I'm very happy she was able to live a very comfortable life of 2 years. It was time for her to go. She didn't suffer any illness or pain, which is probably why it didn't dawn on me it would happen so quickly. I'm still grieving and I don't know how long the process will be. I am pretty shocked at how violently these emotions have hit me. I think it will take a while for me to stop feeling guilty about being away on vacation, and to heal. Like I said, it's like a hole has been carved out of your soul. If you know of anyone grieving over a loss of a pet, please be kind to them. It is just as painful as losing a loved one because a pet is very much so a part of the family. 

I Love You Nom. 

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